500 Words or Less

I have a ton of papers due in the next two weeks and the words just are not coming.

So in an effort to save words for those that will be graded, I am attempting to give you the update of my life in 500 words or less.

School: Love it. The structure, the reading, the difficult discussions, the ACCESS TO ALL THE JOURNALS I WANT TO READ.  Awesome.

Work: I get paid to play with an adorable munchkin three days a week. Stress relief plus money! And nap time! Awesome.

Social Life: Basically, I have one. At least once a week, I’m going out with someone up here, be it to a meal, out for froyo, or for a hike. I’ve had to be very intentional about this, because mostly, everything in me wants to stay at home every night and curl up in front of a movie on amazon.

Service: I started volunteering at a local homeless/transitional shelter as part of a class assignment, but I absolutely fell in love with the place and have been spending a few hours a week there ever since. The residents are so awesome and I love hanging out and talking to them.  It also reminds me just how truly blessed I am.

Spiritual Life: It’s been shaky, and I don’t think I realized just how much emotion I had tied up in my church in my hometown until I was crying in my therapist’s office this week. But I think I have finally found a church home here in the mountains and it brings me lots of peace and joy.

Health: I feel exhausted and shitty all the freaking time.  I thought I finally had it figured out (eat more, drink more water), but that doesn’t seem to be doing the trick any more, so I spent an hour at health services today getting poked and proded and letting the vampires take my blood.  Hopefully, when I return Thursday there will be some sort of answer.  Of course, it could always be related to…

Eating Disorder: I’m no poster child for recovery, but I am doing my damnedest.  Unfortunately, “my damnedest” means that I’m consistently losing weight no matter how hard I try and how much I’m sitting on my butt. Awesome. Not.

Therapy: Basically, my therapist is amazing. Like, fucking awesome. And, after four years, it’s finally gotten to the point where I can cry in front of her. Which is good, since crying is easier than eating, which is what I have to do in next week’s session.

Coping: I am tangling like a fiend. Mainly because I’m really trying to do this recovery thing right and not switch symptoms and go crazy with alcohol or a blade. It’s not perfect, but I’m trying. Plus, I’m pretty sure someone will commit me to the hospital if I need any more stitches.

Overall: Pretty awesome, though I am often overwhelmed with pangs of loneliness and wishes to be with my friends at home.

Damn. 502 words.  Whatever.



3 thoughts on “500 Words or Less

  1. I like the very honest update a lot! It’s easy to just gloss over stuff and make everything sound “wonderful!” but your openness is really great. I really love your enthusiasm for things like journal access, the adorable munchkin, volunteering, tangling, etc. Seems like those things are keeping you afloat as you deal with the difficult things going on too. I really hope the blood-sucking health services did turns something up. And I hope that in therapy you survive the eating part (you will!) and that you two can come up with some solutions about the spirituality piece.

  2. So sweet. Glad to hear that things are going well! Totally jealous of your social life, I think I just need a little bit more intention. Note taken. Also, school rocks, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re a dork too.

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