This is the worst my depression has been since my first month in treatment.  It’s getting harder to deal with and I’m not sure how to bring it up in therapy.

I’m not sure how to discuss it at all, really.

I’m so disappointed in myself.

For being this depressed all over again.

For relapsing into my eating disorder all over again.

For just being me.

It feels hopeless and I wonder why I keep trying at all.



4 thoughts on “Moody

  1. Hugs. Beautiful Jess, you are trying the hardest that you can and that counts for SO much. Yes, we all slip up, Every single day, I feel that I am slipping backwards, but continue to keep telling myself that life is so much more worth it than ANY feeling that eating disorder brings to us. You can do this. I believe in you <3 love you.

  2. Be honest here, about everything, then be honest with your treatment team.
    I know it’s hard, trust me, I’ve been where you are at. I choked on my words often, I wanted to tell them but couldn’t… I left it so long before actually admitting I was struggling.
    I felt stupid, an embarrassment, but after I spoke to my treatment team, they told me that it’s not normal to not have problems when in treatment, therefore not stupid or embarrassing.
    It’s the picking yourself up bit which is the thing you should concentrate on, and not the fact that you’ve fallen down.

  3. don’t be disappointed in yourself! ups and downs happen, unfortunately. It says nothing about you abilities or character, just that you have an illness and need some more support. I really hope therapy goes well. Thinking of you!

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