The Worst

There are a lot of things to dislike about recovery:  weight gain, meal plans, arguments with dietitians, exercise restrictions, repairing friendships and relationships, yadda yadda yadda.

But the worst thing about recovery?

When you start feeling things again and you can’t use your old behaviours to cover up the shame and fear and sadness.

And it hurts like hell and you are left without the salve of your eating disorder to soothe it, so you just stare at your feelings like an open wound and wonder if it will ever feel better or if it will be this gut-wrenching forever.

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3 thoughts on “The Worst

  1. I’m sorry. I know feeling the feelings sucks big time. Hang in there. They’ll pass even if it doesn’t seem like it. Message me on facebook if you need anything.

    • Thanks, Kate. They do pass eventually and I’m feeling a lot better, even though the situation I’ve been worried about is hardly resolved. But it doesn’t feel like the end of the world any more. :)

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