Quickie on Pass

This will be a quick post.  I’m exhausted.  I hiked a little today, walked around the mall a little, climbed (and fell off) a rock wall bouldering, and ate intuitively.  All these things (especially the last) make me tired.

I am on a two day pass with my mother, which I was terrified would be HORRIBLE, but has actually turned out to be pretty decent.  I was most concerned about eating, but I seem to be handling that fairly well.  Actually, I haven’t had a snack tonight, but I had two snacks before dinner, so I’m feeling pretty okay with it.  I’m not really all that hungry.

Did you catch that?  I’m basing what I eat and when I eat based on hunger, not some stupid eating disordered rules.  I ate two pieces of spinach artichoke pizza tonight, followed by two slices of berry dessert pizza, and felt just fine about it.  I have my swim suit here at the hotel, so I could have gone to work it all off, but decided I am exhausted and just wanted to lay in bed and fall asleep ASAP.

After writing this post, of course, to tell you all that I love you and miss you and I don’t even have words to explain how bizarre these past few months have been, but I am in such a good place.

I want recovery.

I deserve it.

I am owning it and doing it.

Back to regularly scheduled posts and updates on August 3, when I rejoin the real world.  (Or, as I like to say, when they release me into the wild!)

Watch out, world! Back and stronger than ever!


5 thoughts on “Quickie on Pass

  1. Yay! Utah is beautiful. I’m glad you are getting a chance to enjoy it. And yes the quote on the art room wall about fighting my way back is from me. :) I’m glad it’s still there. Let me know what you add to the wall. Also, tell Phoxay (if she is still there) that Kate from Kansas says hello. Anyways, I am so glad you are doing well and eating intuitively. It’s such a strange feeling but a good one. Good luck in your last few weeks!

  2. Stoked. I’ve been a wondering about you. Looking forward to hearing anything you are willing to share.

    Look at that smile! Such light!.

    I feel inspired with what you’ve shared. Continued and infinite goodness to you Jess. Blessings and light always.

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