If you didn’t half-ass your ED, you sure as hell can’t half-ass your recovery

For some reason, this idea has been stuck in my head for the past few days.  It’s just kind of been sitting there, mulling around in my brain as I contemplate my next couple of months in treatment.  But I can’t say that I’m really ready to throw myself “all-in” yet.  I’m not thrilled to be going back to treatment, not even moderately excited about the prospect of coming out of this on the other side healed and renewed.  Because, quite honestly, I’d rather be dead.

Who knows, maybe a couple of months of consistent medication and nutrition will change that.

So my bags are packed.  I’m headed to church in a few, then almost immediately to the airport.  I said goodbyes this week, which were far more painful than I would have expected.  And if I didn’t call or see you before I left, I’m sorry.  It is certainly not that I don’t care and love you to pieces, but that I am simply too exhausted and depressed to hold the phone to my ear.  Fear not, though, I have addresses and phone numbers all packed in my bag, and when I’m allowed to use the phone, I’ll call.  :)

On the subject of mail, please send some!  My address out there will be:  1790 North State Street, Orem, UT   84057.  Apparently, we can also get e-mails?   You just have to e-mail client (at) centerforchange (dot) com.  And put my name in the subject line?  They were really unclear about that in the packet.  Somebody give it a shot!

Love you guys.  Thanks for all your love and support and general putting up with me.

See you on the flipside.

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4 thoughts on “If you didn’t half-ass your ED, you sure as hell can’t half-ass your recovery

  1. Wow, I really like thinking about it that way. I am a definitely an all-or-nothing type of person, so why would I settle for half-assed health? thanks for framing it that way!

    Sending lots of luck your way! Will you be able to blog from treatment? Otherwise I’d love to stay in touch and hear how it’s going – kem0913@gmail.com. Hang tough, you can do this.

    -K

  2. Yup. You can receive emails. You can’t reply to them until you get to a certain phase but emails were a life saver for me. :) Also, any sort of mail. I felt the same way when I entered treatment. I would have given anything not to be there and be dead. I was so resistant at first (Ok my whole time there) but they worked with me. Good luck! You could be in no better place.

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