Racing the Clock

I forgot my computer charger at my parents’ house when I left yesterday, so I’ve got exactly 34 minutes before my computer dies and I can’t blog until my next days off (assuming my parents have sent me my charger by then).  I feel like there’s a ton that I could talk about this week, but I guess I’ll just hit the highlights.

1.  I broke up two fights this week.  One of which required me to physically restrain a child.  Insane.

2.  I finally finished the “Shadow Children” series.  It had plot twists right up to the end.  Fabulous!  I highly recommend it.

3.  Among the “unsafe” foods I ate this week:  macaroni and cheese, lasagna, kielbasa, mini donuts, chex mix, popcorn.

4.  Despite all this, my weight isn’t really up that much this week.  In fact, it’s well within the range that most people would consider to be “maintaining” (a pound or two up or down).

5.  Despite being able to eat “unsafe” foods without ballooning into a small hippopotamus, I am totally freaked out about food for the next week.  I spent 15 minutes journaling this afternoon all about how I’m going to lose those last X pounds and how that’s really not a big deal and I don’t know why everyone had their panties in a twist when I was that weight before.

6.  I had dinner (late lunch?) and a beer with a friend while I was home and he continued to tell me how fabulous I look.  This made me uncomfortable on SO many levels:  I don’t want to be “attractive,” I don’t want to be “sexy,” and apparently I’m only worth looking at when I’m below goal weight.  I left completely confused.

I’m working six days in a row this week (EEK), which hopefully I can do without completely losing my mind.  At least the majority of those days are school days, which are so much easier to deal with than weekends (where there is entirely too much free time).  Sadly, I am without my computer until my charger arrives, which means I am also without music to pep me up (in the morning) and chill me out (in the evening).  I am having the hardest time getting to sleep.

Okay, I know this wasn’t mind-boggling, but I feel like I haven’t talked to anyone in forever.  Hope you all are well.

Oh!  And my college roommate is following my blog now!  Hi JLS!  :)


3 thoughts on “Racing the Clock

  1. Yum! Popcorn and Chex Mix! SO worth it!

    Beware #5. Please. It’s a death trap. I never understood when I heard “the number kept getting lower” stories because they were never my experience. Currently my condition has morphed and I am experiencing entirely new behaviors and so I can say now with authority, it is true. The number becomes lower and flat and unreal….even when they are super low you will STILL be vulnerable to the trap of:

    “I’m going to lose those last X pounds and how that’s really not a big deal “

  2. I agree with Missy on that number 5. I find it astounding that I can look at a number and have no association to it as “mine” and that there is a “problem” with it.

    Point blank – there probably is. Just be careful. Don’t let yourself get swept up in the madness of irrational thought. (I know you have your glimpses of what is rational. They may be glimpses, but HOLD ON TO THEM!)

    With light and hopes you can maintain and hold goodness for YOU.

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