Hump Day Poetry

Sorry I’ve been so quiet in the blogosphere since returning home. Transitioning from residential to partial-hospitalization is far more difficult than I was anticipating and there have been times when I wonder if I shouldn’t have stayed in Florida another week or two. To that point, I haven’t had a lot to say that is blog-worthy. Recovery is HARD. Dealing with trauma is HARD. Eating my meal plan is HARD. “Keeping myself safe” (aka not engaging in self-harm) is HARD.

Even my journaling has been lacking lately, as I’m struggling to put into words what exactly is going on in this time in my life. So today, you — faithful blog readers — get a poem. This will no doubt be the first of a many-part series. I wrote a LOT of poetry in treatment – some good, some crappy, some mediocre. You guys get to be my guinea pigs. I’d love your feedback. This particular poem was a challenge from a friend in treatment: write a poem with the repeated line, “the time somebody told me.”

We were lying in bed
gaze fixed on each other
bodies melting into
one another in a
comfortable, familiar way —
the time somebody told me
he loved me.

He was on one knee
candles surrounding him,
champagne chilling for celebration,
waiting patiently for my reply —
the time somebody told me
he wanted me for his wife.

I found the baggie
and the lighter
the day after their wedding
and we sat in
stony silence
the time somebody told me
he had been lying for months.

We were lying in bed
gaze fixed on the wall,
the space between us
the silence filling the gap
the last time somebody told me
he loved me.


7 thoughts on “Hump Day Poetry

  1. Okay, well, I really like it. I like the rhythm and the repetition of “somebody told me/he loved me. ” There is probably a poetic term for that, but the last time I took a poetry class was in 2004.

    My one point of critique would be that it reads as if you got married (“the wedding.”) I know you didn’t because I forced you to tell your life story to me, but someone else may be like “OMG, you got married?” Otherwise, this is AWESOME poetry. Show me more! Show me more!

    Upon further reflection, this could be even better if it was written in GRAPHIC NOVEL format, since apparently all the great literature these days is! Gosh. Did you like that text yesterday? I told D about it and he was like “um, why would you text anyone a photo of that?” I don’t think he understands the gravitas of this issue!

    • Okay, I changed it to “their wedding” – I think I initially thought that using that phrase would raise too many questions, but obviously “the wedding” raises a lot more. ;-)

      I hadn’t considered graphic novel format until you sent me that text with BSC. And really, “The Truth About Stacey”? As a graphic novel? I hope there are at least a few good drawings of the pancreas.

      Also, I’m glad you knew without asking that I would understand.

  2. I agree with Sarah. It implies that you got married before discovering the lie. So glad I know better.

    Otherwise, fantastic!

  3. I’ve been thinking about you so much!

    Love the words..they are very poignant and so …capturing.
    The face toward the wall part …space growing between.

    (I guess now that we have met you will understand my excessive use of ellipses…it’s like insert LONG drawn out moments of silence here. LOL.)

    Recovery…’s HARDER than HARD. (TWSS)

    Seriously. Up for a chat soon?

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