For When Words Won’t Come

Sometimes, when I’m lacking the words to pray, I sing.  Specifically, I sing Gregorian Chant – truths and prayers I know to be true and that have always acted as a salve for my aching soul.

Driving into work yesterday, I turned off the CD player and began to sing.

Kyrie eleison  — Christe eleison — Kyrie eleison

(Lord, have mercy — Christ, have mercy — Lord, have mercy)

I followed the Kyrie with the Agnus Dei.

Agnus Dei, Qui tollis peccata mundi, Miserere nobis

Agnus Dei, Qui tollis peccata mundi, Miserere nobis

Agnus Dei, Qui tollis peccata mundi, Dona nobis pacem

(Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us)

(Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us)

(Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, grant us peace)

 

And as I sang, I prayed – Lord, please.  Have mercy.  Soothe my soul.  Comfort my heart.  Have mercy God, on me – a sinner.  Christ, please help.  Please.  I don’t want to be stuck in this any more.  Lord, have mercy.

This continues to be my prayer – peppered with thanksgiving, when I see Him come though with the mercy and peace I’ve requested.  The hour-long coffee with the pastor I used to intern with, the friends who stand with me through thick and thin (heh), the brief moments when I remember who I am outside this struggle, the hope I find in the perfect Bible verse.  These are tangible reminders of the mercy and grace I’m promised as a daughter, if I will but grasp on to it and believe.

We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NIV

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6 thoughts on “For When Words Won’t Come

  1. “This continues to be my prayer – peppered with thanksgiving, when I see Him come though with the mercy and peace I’ve requested. The hour-long coffee with the pastor I used to intern with, the friends who stand with me through thick and thin (heh), the brief moments when I remember who I am outside this struggle, the hope I find in the perfect Bible verse. These are tangible reminders of the mercy and grace I’m promised as a daughter, if I will but grasp on to it and believe.”

    I love this. It is absolutely beautiful, honest, poetic. Truly beautiful.

    ps: I love the way you kinda giggled at your own pun in the middle of your writing.

    • I think something about recovery makes me think that puns are VERY funny.

      Also, something about recovery makes me think that I am, in general, VERY funny. This may or may not actually be the case, but I will continue to believe that I am an absolute riot, because it has been vital to my recovery process. (Seriously – anytime I want to skip a meal, I think — but I’m SO MUCH FUNNIER when I eat!)

  2. ps: if I lived anywhere near you, I would SO bring you frozen yogurt! And also a collection of wonderful books. I think those are pretty amazing too when you feel under the weather!

  3. Wow, what a beautiful thing to do.
    Makes me want to learn gregorian chant.
    Often times when I have no words, I just repeat “Lord Jesus have mercy on my soul, Lord jesus have mercy on my soul” and I also love to sing and worship so that really appeals to me.

    • One of my favourite, most basic prayers is this:
      “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

      When I am feeling particularly stressed or unnerved, I sit in a cozy chair and take deep breaths while repeating it.

      Also, you can do this with any good music! I drove home (an hour and a half drive from a friend’s house) last night while listening to some really wonderful worship music and prayed for a friend almost the whole way. I think music is just a fabulous jumping off point in giving me somewhere to begin prayer. Definitely try it!

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