Today’s assignment, the final of the Choosing Love series: as a sign of gratitude and respect for your body, do something to treat your body. This could be a massage, a manicure or pedicure, a nice hot bath, letting yourself sleep as much as you want, giving yourself a rest day from exercise, treating yourself to a nice exercise session, giving it some yummy food or drink, steam roomin’ it up, or going to the natural sauna known as the beach if you are so fortunate.
Ways I respected my body today (in no particular order):
- moisturized post-shower with a really fabulous silky-smooth lotion.
- went for a short run.
- put on nail polish (and was really confused every time I saw my hands).
- wore something other than jeans and a t-shirt to church.
- ate my weight in vegan muffins.
Unfortunately, now it is almost 10 pm on Sunday night and I have to work tomorrow and I STILL haven’t done this week’s counseling homework. I have the chronology written out (something I did last fall), but even to read through it makes me nauseated – much less to consider how I feel about all of it. I am overwhelmed at the thought, near tears, desperately trying to find a way to not do it.
On the bright side, this evening marks the first time in a number of days that I’ve been really tempted to restrict or skip a meal. The fact is, it’s been a really good week. I am finally [I think] eating enough protein and I feel a little stronger, my mind a little clearer, and dammit, I AM FUNNY when I’m properly fueled.
All this to say – I have a lot to fight for. Even when fighting means sifting through events and emotions from five years ago and throwing off the shame and fear that hide them. Even when fighting means eating more than you wanted to. Even when fighting means planting your butt on the couch instead of hitting the gym.
Epecially because when you keep fighting…you find that it becomes a little less of a battle the next time.