Because something about writing them down makes me more likely to achieve them, here are my goals for the week:

1.  Buy cheese.  (It’s true, I still have not added this to my meal plan.  Every time I’ve been to the grocery store this past week, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time staring at cheese.  7 minutes or more, at least.  Looking at nutrition facts, debating which I should buy.  Which is ridiculous, given that my nutritionist told me EXACTLY which cheese to buy.)

2.  Speak up in group tonight.

3.  Spend 10 minutes a day meditating on John 16:33.  (I can’t get it out of my mind.  It keeps coming back again and again.)

4.  Say the words I have been so reluctant to say for months:  “I have an eating disorder.”  Out loud.  Preferably to another person.  (And maybe write a blog about why this is so difficult.)

5.  Eat one thing that I really want.   Not just something that’s on my safe list.

6.  Discuss with my nutritionist the possibility of trashing my scale and letting her be the know-er of my weight.  (Did I really just say that?!)

7.  At least once this week, complete this meal plan challenge:  Eat everything on the meal plan.  Don’t write down the calories of everything next to the entry in the food log.  Don’t total the day’s calories.  Don’t run more than 3 miles to alleviate the anxiety that this will cause.  Trust the nutritionist.

Should be an interesting week.  :)


5 thoughts on “Accountability

    • Cheese – check. It even made it into my lunchbox today for my afternoon snack.

      Speak up in group – check.

      Meditation on John 16:33 – check.

      Admit out loud what the problem is – erm, no.

      Muffin – check. Though it was not nearly as enjoyable as I had hoped, given the “brick in stomach” feeling that followed. (Which may have been guilt, and may have been a genuine physical reaction to the carbohydrates. Who knows.)

      Trash the scale – check. It went to live with a friend on Tuesday. More on that in a forthcoming blog. :)

      Meal plan challenge – not yet. Maybe Sunday?

      Five out of seven – not bad for it only being Thursday. :)

      • wow that is inspiriing and awesome!! keep in mind that i’m way newer to recovery than you are, so take this w/ a grain of salt… but the muffin (or any carb thing you want) will probably taste better in a few weeks (or sooner!) once your body gets used to having them again? that’s what i’ve always heard, and it makes sense.

  1. Oh, and I can totally relate to the grocery store thing. I was like that in regards to crackers this weekend. I spent just as long analyzing the labels and ingredient lists… and walked away with nothing.

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