I would be willing to consider actual recovery if we could do it on my terms. They’re really quite simple. I would be willing to eat normally under the following conditions:
1. If the re-feeding process weren’t so incredibly physically painfully. Seriously?! As if dealing with the emotional anxiety part isn’t enough, I also need to cope with the fact that I am in so much pain I would like to die?
2. I would still like to lose five to ten pounds. How can we make this happen while I maintain a normal caloric intake?
3. I understand that you gave me two X chromosomes for a reason, however I’m not really sure what that reason is, given that I never want to have children. On that note, I am less willing to recover if it means that I have to get a period again.
See, Jesus? I’m not asking for the world here. Just for a little wiggle room on this “dying to self” thing.